Day 434. Long time, no update.

Today was Thanksgiving, and I was taking some time to reflect on everything that's happened since last Thanksgiving, and I realized it has been over five months since I last updated this.  Man, I'm horrible at this whole blogging thing!

Last time I checked in, I had just gotten back from my trip to Nashville.  I'd mentioned that just before my trip, I started having issues with hives.  That continued after I got home.  I think part of me will always be paranoid about the cancer coming back. But the hives really worried me, because skin issues were part of my pre-diagnosis symptoms.  They worried my oncologist too, because Dr. Blau had me go get a PET scan three months before I was scheduled to.  Luckily, my scan came back completely clear.  Dr. Blau thinks my skin issues are a lasting side effect from the Bleomycin.  That drug is known to cause skin problems, plus it also tends to stay in the system for a long time.  I know Bleo can cause lung issues if you are given oxygen, even years after being administered.  So it makes sense that the skin issues could last a long time, too.  It's obviously very reassuring that it's not being caused by a relapse, but it's still frustrating to be so itchy all the time!

I'm also still dealing with neuropathy.  It's mostly in my feet (half my toes are still numb), but my fingers and hands will "fall asleep" easily.  Most of the time I don't notice it, since I'm used to it by now.  But my feet become really bad when I stand for a long period of time.  They swell really easily, and ache like crazy, to the point where I have to go lay down for a while.

I've been struggling a lot lately with the way I look now, my short hair being the worst of it.  It's growing, but it seems like it's taking forever.  It's about 3-4 inches long now but it's in dire need of a trim, and I'm doing everything I can to avoid cutting it.  I feel like by trimming it, I'd be taking a step back.  So instead, it's at a very awkward mullet stage, and I hate it.  If you haven't seen my pre-cancer pictures, I used to have the most gorgeous, waist-length hair.  I miss it like crazy.  So I decided to invest in a to-die-for human hair wig.  I had a couple human hair wigs already, but they were shorter, and I hate the cut and color of them.  I wanted a "Victoria's Secret Angel" hairstyle.  I wanted goddess hair.  So I ordered a custom wig from a shop on Etsy.  I was able to completely customize it, and it's gorrrrrrrgeous!

I'm so in love with it!  The cap is full lace, and ended up being too big.  But I found a way to make it work (if you have the same problem, check out WiGrip!), and it looks so natural.  I get so many compliments on my "hair".  And if you've ever lost your hair to chemotherapy, you know that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when someone compliments your wig.  :)

(In case you're interested, the Etsy shop I ordered it from is "Gardeaux Wigs" and the owner's name is Rachel.  She was fantastic throughout the whole process, and I highly recommend her!)

On the bright side, my natural hair is now long enough to pin the front back!  :)

We just had some major changes at work, and I'm happy to report that I've had no issues with "chemo brain"!  We switched CAD (computer-aided dispatch) systems, so I basically had to relearn how to do my entire job.  But I've had no memory issues, thank goodness.  I've been able to retain everything and haven't had a problem.  I'm lucky, because a lot of survivors I know have had issues with "chemo brain," almost to the point where it's like a mild form of dementia.

I'm still traveling and going to concerts, and doing the things I used to love before being diagnosed.  A couple weeks ago, I went on the Florida Georgia Line cruise.  If you read my earlier blog posts, you know that this was the cruise that I missed last year because I started chemo just a couple weeks prior.  I made it a goal to go on this year's sailing, and booked it while I was still going through chemo.  Going on this year's cruise was my giant "screw you" to cancer, and I'm so happy to report that the trip happened.  I did it.  I survived and I made it onboard.

Last year, people were wearing purple and honoring me because I couldn't be there.  This year, people were hugging me and congratulating me because I finally made it.  People I'd never even met before came up to me and told me what an inspiration I was to them.  It was a very emotional four days, but I had an incredible time.

One of the most memorable moments of the cruise was my meet and greet with Florida Georgia Line.  The band had been instructed to shake people's hands since there was such limited time.  When Brian (one of the members of the duo) found out who I was, he wrapped me in the biggest bear hug and told me how happy he was that I was able to make it this year.  This is the same guy who wore a purple Hodgkin's awareness bracelet in my honor on the last cruise.

After the meet and greet was over, the realization of what had just happened hit me.  I started crying as my friends and I were leaving the theater.  I'm sure everyone around us thought I was tearing up because I'd just met the band, but it was so much more than that.

Exactly one year prior, my friends had stood with Florida Georgia Line for their picture.  Instead of being there with them, I was at home battling cancer, and they had a photo of me to hold.  I was a face on a piece of paper.  This time, I was cancer-free and standing there where I should have been the year before.  Even now, I'm getting emotional just thinking about what that moment meant to me.

I have a video that I put together of my entire cruise experience, so I'll post that in a separate post.

Last weekend, I flew to Boise to meet up with a friend to go to a concert.  We saw a couple of artists from the cruise - Dustin Lynch and Chris Lane - as well as another one of my favorite singers, Tyler Rich.  It was the best concert I've seen in a long time, and I really enjoyed myself.  So much so that I decided to go see the same tour in Chicago in January with another friend.

I have a couple friends coming to visit tomorrow from California and Utah, so I'm excited to spend the weekend with them and play tourist in Seattle.  Hanging out in the city never gets old, and I'm fortunate to live in a place that I love so much.  Brie and I are also going to the Seahawks game on Sunday.  Both friends are then going back home for a couple days, then we're all meeting back up in Las Vegas on Thursday.  We're seeing Sam Hunt in concert, then spending a couple of days playing in Sin City.  I'm also planning a trip to San Francisco in February to visit a friend.  And of course I'm headed back to Nashville in June for CMA Fest.  :)

You probably think I'm crazy for going on so many trips, but I'm having such a fun time going on my little adventures!  A year ago I was banned from traveling, and missed out on so many things.  So now I'm making up for last time.  It sounds corny, but one thing that having cancer taught me is that I really do want to live my life to the fullest and not have any regrets.  

Oh, I almost forgot!  I'm getting my port removed on Monday!  I'm not sure how I could forget to mention that, since it's such a huge deal, haha.  This is the final step to getting back to normal.  No more foreign object in my chest!  I'll make sure I remember to blog about my experience getting it taken out.

Thanks for reading!  Catch you in my next post (which hopefully won't be half a year from now)!

XOXO

Day 278. Video - CMA Fest.

I thought I would share a video on here that I made with pictures and video clips from my "celebration vacation" to Nashville for CMA Fest.  Enjoy!

Day 277. I'm still here! :)

Holy lack of updates, Batman!  I can't believe it's been almost 100 days since I last posted.  I'm the worst blogger on the planet.  Sorry, guys.

I finished chemo on March 25th!  It was the most incredible feeling knowing that I was done with that portion of my journey.

Three days after finishing chemo, I went to see Dan + Shay in Seattle with a friend of mine.  It was the first concert I went to since being diagnosed, and it was amazing.  It felt like I was finally getting my life back, and it was the first thing I was able to do that resembled my life before cancer.  I'm not one to ever take signs with me to shows, but I felt like I had to for this one.  I made a sign saying I'd just finished chemo and was celebrating by being there.  I held it up during a song late in the set, and Dan noticed it immediately and loved it.  He even gave me his guitar pick after the song finished.

I had the opportunity to meet Dan + Shay after the show, and they were very sweet.  Dan recognized me and asked me to get my poster back out and hold it for a picture since we were celebrating my remission.

If you ever have the opportunity to see Dan + Shay live, I'd definitely recommend it!  They're crazy talented.

I went back to work a week after I finished chemo, on April 1st.  OH MY GOODNESS.  You have no idea how glad I was to go back.  I'd gone stir crazy being off work.  I hardly did anything in the five months I was off, other than be lazy at home and go to chemo.  I rarely went anywhere or saw anyone.  So I was very glad to have something to do again!

My first night back at work!

A couple of weeks after my last chemo, I started having problems with my lungs.  It hurt to breathe in deeply, and I became short of breath while doing very easy tasks - walking up stairs, folding laundry, etc.  I'd known that one of the chemo drugs I received (Bleomycin) could cause lung toxicity, but I was surprised that it would show up AFTER I finished chemo.  I ended up having to go to the emergency room on April 12th to make sure that it wasn't a blood clot in my lungs or pneumonia.  They did show some lung damage, but said it was most likely from the bleomycin.  I was able to go home, but I had to miss the Garth Brooks concert I was supposed to go to the next day.  I still wasn't able to walk more than a few steps without getting completely winded.

Stuck in the ER.

I was supposed to start radiation when the lung issues started, and went to a couple consultation appointments.  I even got my radiation tattoos (pink dots that will show up under a black light, in order to line up the machine). But then my oncologist decided to postpone radiation until my lung issues were sorted out.  To this day, I still haven't gotten radiation.  I'm not sure if we're still going to do it.  I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow, so I'll find out then.  However, I'm no longer having issues with my lungs.  I'm no longer short of breath or in pain, and they seem to have gone back to normal.

The radiation area mapped out on my chest with Sharpie before it was postponed.

In late April, a couple weeks after returning back to work, the police squad that was working all came into the comm center.  I figured something had to be up, because the whole squad never comes in at once, but I didn't know what they would have been there for.  Turns out they were there to present me with an award - the police union had voted me as dispatcher of the year for 2014!  It was the second year in a row that I'd received the award, and this one was definitely the most special of the two.  I take pride in being a good dispatcher, and it's nice to know that my efforts to do well at my job don't go unnoticed.  Especially when I hadn't been at work in a few months.

I tell you what - if I thought dating was difficult before cancer, it's ten times harder after having cancer, haha.  I've been on a couple dates since being in remission, but I've struggled with it.  I don't know when it's appropriate to bring up what I've been through, or how to talk about it without being awkward.  And since I still wear a wig when I go out, I feel like I'm obligated to say something before they find out on their own.  It's hard.  My self-confidence has definitely taken a hit.  It doesn't help that I gained back nearly all the weight I'd lost prior to my diagnosis, so I feel like a whale on top of having boy hair.  I know it will get easier.  I'm just anxious to get back to my pre-cancer life, and I know that will take a while.

In late May, I broke out in hives like crazy.  It started on my legs and under my arms and just spread.  Within a week, my entire body was covered.  And nothing helped - allergy medicine, Prednisone, nothing.  It was miserable.  I itched so bad.  Eventually the hives mostly went away, but I'm still dealing with breakouts on my hands and what appears to be heat rash on my legs and torso.  I guess it's not uncommon to break out in hives around the two-month post-chemo mark, because it takes that long for the chemo to get out of your system and some peoples' bodies just freak out.  I just hope it goes away soon.

I'm also dealing with neuropathy in my feet.  Several of my toes are numb, as well as a portion of my heels.  I'm hoping to find out more about this tomorrow when I talk to my oncologist.  I don't even know if it will ever go away.

The first week of June, I travelled to Tennessee for my "celebration vacation."  It was a trip that I'd had planned for over a year that turned into an "I'm done with cancer!" trip.  I went to Memphis for a few days to visit my aunt and uncle that live there, then met up with friends and went to Nashville for CMA Fest.  We went to the CMT Music Awards, attended some private fan parties, and went to LP Field for the big concerts each night.  

Loaded up with tech before our tour at Graceland.

                                     

With Charles Esten, who plays Deacon on "Nashville," on the red carpet before the CMT Music Awards.

I was on TV!

At the CMT Music Awards.

Luke Bryan performing at his private fan club party.

Front row for Dustin Lynch on the Riverfront Stage.

With Chris Young.

Outside of Fan Fair X.

Front row for Chris Young's performance on the Close Up Stage.

Dan + Shay performing at their private fan party.

With Dustin Lynch.

Brett Eldredge performing at his private fan party.

Meeting Wynonna.

Our group, plus a couple of photobombers.

With Brett Eldredge.

Front row for Eric Church at LP Field.

At the iconic Nashville mural.

Front row for Dierks Bentley at LP Field.

Needless to say, it was an incredible trip.  Photos can't even begin to show the amount of fun we had and the experiences we got to have.  But they're ones we'll have again - we've already booked the condo for CMA Fest next year!  :)

Oh, and I haven't posted a hair status photo in a while!  So here you go:

That picture was taken while I was in Memphis.  It's not to the point that I can really style it at all, but it's getting there!  It also seems to be growing in a bit darker than it was before chemo.  The grays are coming back though, haha.

I think I've covered everything that's been going on.  I'll try to keep update this way more often than I have been.

Take care, readers!  Xoxo.

Day 178. Update on errythang.

Well, hello there!  I figured it was time for another actual update on my life and not just a video.

I had my 11th chemo treatment this past week.  Yes, 11!  Which means I only have one left!  I'm almost there!

One of my coworkers (a fellow cancer survivor) made this beautiful quilt for me!

My last treatment is scheduled for the 25th.  I'll then have a PET scan in mid- to late-April to see if the cancer is gone.  Dr. Blau will then present my case to the tumor board, and they'll decide if I have to have radiation.  I'm hoping I don't have to since I don't have bulky disease, but it's still a possibility.  I'm also planning on going back to work in about a month.

I'm still lucking out in the side effect department.  I have very little nausea, and no mouth sores.  I still have the funky taste buds the week after chemo.  My appetite has become crazy, though.  I'm hungry all the time.  I'll eat something, and then an hour later my stomach will be growling.  It's very frustrating.  Especially when everything tastes horrible, and nothing sounds appetizing.

What's really strange is that a lot of the side effects I have come and go.  The insomnia is pretty much gone, and last week I was dealing with numbness in my left hand.  Half my hand was numb for a few days.  But that has since resolved itself.  It's weird.

I'm done giving myself shots!  Dr. Blau made me go 6 weeks on them instead of the original month, but the 6 week mark has now passed.

My hair has been growing like crazy.  It's so odd.  I figured my hair would completely fall out, and wouldn't come back until after I'm done with treatment.  But it's grown a lot since I had it buzzed the last time.  My eyebrows and eyelashes are also starting to grow back.  And my leg hair!  It's really disheartening seeing leg hair after not having it for a few months, haha.

Speaking of hair, I got a "haircut" a few days ago, lol.  My original Zara wig was getting pretty haggard looking, so I took it to my hairstylist to resurrect it.  It turned out so cute!  The shorter style will be really fun to rock during the spring and summer while my hair grows back.

I've been spending a lot of time looking at things to do in Tennessee and at travel videos.  My trip to CMA Fest is getting so close!  Less than three months!  I can't wait to celebrate being done with treatment with my friends in one of my favorite places on the planet.  I've actually decided to make my trip longer than I originally planned, so I can go visit my aunt and uncle that live in Memphis.  So I'll be there for about 4 days, then my friends and I will drive to Nashville and stay there for 8 days.  I'm so excited!  I'm probably driving my friends insane with the messages I send them about it (sorry, guys!), but it's nice to have something to look forward to.  

And I need some music in my life.  For those of you who may not know, going to concerts is kind of my thing.  I love experiencing live music.  And I haven't been able to go to a show since my diagnosis.  I'm so excited to start going to some again!  I'm going to celebrate finishing chemo by going to the Dan + Shay show in Seattle, then next month I'm going down to Portland to see Garth Brooks.  Then in May, I have pit tickets for Luke Bryan.  Nothing like getting right back into my pre-cancer swing of things!  :)

Okay, I'm going to go watch the replay of the Mariners game from today and relax.  TEN DAYS, GUYS!  Ten days and I'm done!  :)

Day 171. Vlog: A day in the life of a chemo patient.

Hey everyone! I thought it would be helpful/interesting if I brought you with me on chemo day and showed you what my life is like. Hope you enjoy!

I'm posting this on my phone, so I can't embed the video. Just click on the link! :)

http://youtu.be/ss4lGXROYfQ

Day 167. Wig review.

Hey everyone!  I've gotten multiple requests to make a video about the wig that I wear, so that's what I've done!  Hope this covers everything you've been wondering about my "Zara"!  :)

Day 162. What's in my chemo bag?

Hey all!  I have another video for you.  I thought it would be fun and helpful to show you what I take with me to chemo.  Enjoy!

Day 158. 5-minute chemo makeup.

Hey all!  I put together a video of the quick, 5-minute makeup look that I do on my chemo days.  Enjoy!

Day 150. Drugstore/affordable bronze makeup look, plus eyebrow tutorial.

Hey all! I did a drugstore/affordable bronze daytime glam look and wanted to share it with you. There's also an updated eyebrow tutorial now that I have barely any brow hair left. Skip to 15:15 if you just want to see the brow portion. 

I'll embed the video once I get home, but for now you'll have to click on the link. :)

http://youtu.be/4eQXf7xRkBg

Day 147. Recent beauty favorites.

Hey all!  I wanted to put together a video of the beauty items that I've been loving recently.  Hope you like!

Day 142. Winged eyeliner and bold lip tutorial.

Enjoy!  :)

Day 139. Yet another belated update.

Sorry for the lack of updates!  Up until a couple weeks ago, I was kind of just coasting along during treatment and didn't have anything new to report.  And in my case, no news is very good news, so I can't really complain about my lack of things to write about.

I had my 8th chemo treatment last week, which means I'm two-thirds of the way done!  I'm still completely lucking out in the side effect department, and I'm so thankful for that.  I've had barely any nausea, and no mouth sores.  I'm still having the taste bud issues for the first few days after chemo, but it's something that I'll gladly continue to deal with if it means not having to put up with worse side effects.  I'm still battling insomnia some nights, even with a prescription for sleeping pills.

Mom and her Seahawks nails helping out with #8!

My blood cell counts continue to be an issue.  Thankfully they haven't been bad enough to put off a chemo treatment, but they're still insanely low.  It's mostly been my white blood cell counts, but a couple of weeks ago my red blood cell counts dipped too low.  I had to go get a blood transfusion.  It was strange knowing that someone else's blood was being pumped into me.  But it worked!  My red blood cell counts are back up.  For now, at least.

A couple days before my last chemo, I woke up with a lot of pain in my right Achilles tendon.  It was swollen, hurt to the touch, and I couldn't walk without being in agony.  I thought at first it was from the antibiotic that Dr. Blau has me on - the pharmacist warned me that sudden pain in the Achilles and even tendon ruptures were side effects of the drug.  I had a pre-chemo appointment with Dr. Blau the next day, so I asked her about it then.  Her first thought was that it could be a blood clot, so she scheduled me for a doppler ultrasound a couple days later.

By the time the ultrasound appointment rolled around, the pain had disappeared.  As they were doing the ultrasound on my leg and pressing down, I felt a sharp pain in my calf.  Sure enough, they'd found a blood clot.  The good news is that it was in my calf muscle and not in the bloodstream, so it wasn't as serious as it could have been.  Since then I've been on blood thinners, and have had to give myself a shot in the stomach twice a day.  Between all the blood that has had to be drawn and now having to inject myself every day, I don't know how you could go through this experience being afraid of needles.  Thankfully that's never been an issue for me!

Mom and I before my ultrasound.

I'm still going completely stir crazy not working.  I'm counting down the days until April not just because I'll be done with chemo, but also because I'll be able to go back to my job.  It's hard for me to sit around the house and do nothing.  I've been trying to get together with friends more often, even if it's just to have a movie night.  It's nice to have the company.  It saddens me to say that I've definitely found out who my true friends are during this journey.  It's disappointing how many "fair weather" friends I had in my life.  It makes me appreciate the people who have texted and called and spent time with me that much more.

I had to go visit my friend and hairstylist, Amber, today to get my head buzzed again.  It baffles me that most of my hair fell out, but what is left continues to grow.  The peach fuzz was looking awful and very cancer-like, so it had to go.  The GI Jane buzz looks much better.  It's still a weird experience having someone take clippers to your head, even though I've had Amber do it several times.  It's not something you get used to after having long hair for your entire life.  I'm so ready to be at the point where I can grow my hair out again!  Although I must admit, it's been nice not having to bother with shaving my legs.  ;)

Time to go meet my dad for dinner!  Ciao!

Day 138. Favorite eyeliners - chemo edition.

Hey all!  I thought I would put together a video of my favorite eyeliners that I've been using since starting chemo!  Enjoy!

Day 134. Taupe/purple "get ready with me" video.

I made another "get ready with me" video, this time with taupe and purple eyeshadow.  I hope you guys like this kind of video, because they're fun for me to make!  Don't mind me rocking out through most of it.  ;)  Let me know in the comment section if you'd like to see more of these videos!  Hope you enjoy!

Day 131. Review and comparison of the Younique fiber mascara.

Hey all!  You've probably heard of the Younique fiber lash mascara - it's everywhere online.  I wanted to do a review of it from the perspective of someone losing their lashes from chemo, and I also put it to the test against my beloved Too Faced mascara.  Hope you like it!

Day 127. False eyelash application tutorial.

I put together a video showing how to apply false lashes, featuring Thrive Causemetics eyelashes.  Enjoy!

Day 125. For the warriors.

I started this blog not only to keep my friends and family updated during my journey, but also with hope that it would help someone who has recently been diagnosed with Hodgkin's.  When I was first told that I have cancer, I found a couple of blogs during my Google searches, and they really helped give me an idea of what to expect.  I'm hoping to return the favor, and that someone who has stumbled across my blog has had their journey become a little easier.

So this post is for you, new Hodgkin's warriors.

No one wants to become a member of the Lymphoma Club.  It's a horrible, stupid club.  But within this awful club are some pretty amazing people.  I was fortunate enough to "meet" some fellow warriors online, through Instagram of all places.  There's a whole hidden lymphoma society on there, and within that society are some of the most incredible, brave, and supportive people I've ever met.  Search for lymphoma-related hashtags - #hodgkinslymphoma, #lymphoma, etc. - and you'll find pictures posted by fellow fighters and survivors.  All I had to do was be a creeper and comment on some pictures explaining that I was recently diagnosed, and I immediately had a new group of supporters.

There's also a group on Facebook called "Lymphoma/Hodgkins" - if you type that into the search bar on Facebook, it should pop up.  That group has been a godsend.  There are thousands of people on there - fighters, survivors, family members.  It's a great place to ask questions.  No question is too stupid, or too embarrassing.

Don't be afraid to ask your oncologist questions, either.  And don't be afraid to call the office if you need something.  I've called mine COUNTLESS times, for all sorts of things.  Joint pain, digestive issues, insomnia, fever.  They're there to help you.

Chemo.  It's not really as bad as you think.  Obviously everyone reacts to it differently, but I imagined I was going to be deathly ill, hugging the toilet everyday.  That's not the case.  Yes, there is some nausea and other side effects, but they're manageable.  I've found that what works best for me as far as the nausea goes is I take one of my anti-nausea meds as soon as they remove the tubes from my port after my chemo infusion.  That way I'm not screwed if the ones they gave me at the beginning of the day wear off on the way home.  I also go straight to bed when I get home, usually around 5pm.  If I don't go straight to bed, I'll be up vomiting all evening.  But I don't throw up at all if I just sleep it off.  I've also learned that it's best to take your anti-nausea meds preventatively, even if you're not feeling nauseous.  Because it's much more difficult to get rid of it once it's set in if you didn't take them.

One of the worst side effects I've dealt with is mouth sores.  They're caused by the Adriamycin - the "red devil."  I've found that sucking on ice cubes while that drug is being administered helps immensely.  I start the ice cubes about 5 minutes before my chemo nurse starts the drug, and continue until a few minutes after it's done.  For me, the ice prevents about 95% of the mouth sores.  I may still get a few, especially at the back of my throat, but it's nothing compared to what I got before discovering the ice cube trick.  Ask your oncologist for a prescription for Magic Mouthwash - it's a special mouthwash that has lidocaine in it, and is great to have on hand.  If you have a sore mouth, saltwater rinses really help.  I also like to drink milk when my mouth is sore, as it coats the mouth and throat.  Dry mouth can also cause a sore mouth, so I'd recommend switching to Biotene toothpaste and mouthwash.

If you have a favorite food, don't eat it during chemo!  There are certain foods I used to love that I now get sick at the sight of.  Subway sandwiches?  Yeah, I had them too many times during my chemo infusions, and I can't eat them now.  I've also steered clear of certain foods in the days after chemo.  Before all of this started, I ate low-carb foods and zero junk food.  Because I want to continue to eat healthy after treatment, I don't want to be grossed out by those foods now, so I've been eating things that I don't mind if I get sick of.  I've put on a few pounds, but to me it's worth it to not be completely grossed out by a salad.

Speaking of putting on a few pounds, don't be embarrassed by your appearance during your journey!  It's not worth the extra stress.  I used to care so much about what people thought of me, and this experience has taught me not to think that way.  Now I don't hesitate to go to the store with no eyebrows and just a beanie on my head.  If people want to make assumptions, so be it!

When my hair started to fall out, I shaved my head.  I gave it just long enough to know that it was going to be too thin to keep whatever was left, and then made the leap to buzzing it. Shaving it was less traumatic than having it come out in clumps, and I'm glad I did it.  It made the process a lot easier.

That being said, it still is really hard to go through your appearance changing so drastically.  My eyebrows falling out has probably been the worst part of this whole experience.  But there are ways to fill in your sparse or missing brows with makeup!  I have a makeup tutorial a few posts back that shows one way to fill them in.  Also, there's this amazing program put on by the American Cancer Society called "Look Good, Feel Better" that I'd recommend checking out.  It's a makeup and skincare workshop, and they teach you the basic ways to use makeup during your chemo process.  They have workshops all over the place - you can find ones near you at www.lookgoodfeelbetter.org.

A lot of the places that offer the LGFB program also offer free wigs and wig fittings to cancer patients.  You may find that you don't wear a wig very often, but it's great to have one on hand just in case.  If you choose to purchase one of a higher quality than the ones they offer during the LGFB program, check out www.wigsbypattispearls.com.  Patti is a wig expert, and sells many different brands of wigs on her website.  She frequently has sales on her site, and you can find wigs for a huge discount.  I purchased a Jon Renau wig during her Black Friday sale for 40% off!  Also check with your health insurance company to see if they cover the cost of a wig.  I would have never thought that mine would, but decided to ask them one day when I was on the phone with them for something else. Come to find out they completely covered the cost of two wigs, with no price limit.  I just had to get a prescription from my oncologist.  Who'da thunk?!

Last but not least, keep your head up.  Positivity is everything, and I truly believe that keeping a positive mindset makes the journey easier.  Treatment is a long, grueling process, but you WILL get to the finish line.  You will kick this thing.  You're a warrior.

Day 122. Seahawks eyeshadow tutorial.

With the NFC Championship game coming up tomorrow, I wanted to do something special for all my fellow Seahawks fans.  Enjoy!  Go Hawks!  :)

Day 119. Get ready with me video.

I filmed this quick "get ready with me video" before my appointment with my oncologist yesterday.  Just a simple rose gold/orangey eyeshadow look.  Enjoy!

Day 114. Makeup tutorial for chemo patients.

I've been obsessed with makeup since I was in high school.  I love the idea of being able to play up the facial features you like, and camouflage the parts that you don't.  I love collecting makeup and trying out different products.  I love the joy of finding a holy grail product that works better than anything you've ever tried before.  And I love the challenge of trying to find something that works even better than that.

I'm by no means a professional when it comes to makeup.  Not even close.  But I'd like to think that over the past decade I've learned a lot about cosmetics.  And since starting chemotherapy, I've learned even more.

It's been a whole new experience figuring out ways to compensate for the eyebrows and eyelashes that are jumping ship, and it made me realize that it might be very difficult for someone who hasn't spent as much time obsessing over makeup as I have to deal with.  That's why I decided to make this video.

It's a very simple look that I demonstrate in the video, but I wanted to do something that is very easy to replicate, no matter what skill level the viewer is at.  It's also a look that's very easy to copy using drugstore products if you're on a budget.  The video is insanely long, and you'll probably get really tired of my face if you watch it, but I didn't want to leave any details out.

I found the making of this video very challenging, self-confidence wise.  It's not easy being nearly bald, no makeup on, feeling completely unfeminine, knowing that other people are going to be seeing you in that state.  But if this video helps just one person going through chemotherapy learn something that helps them feel better about themselves, it was completely worth it.

Day 106. 2015 - the year I win.

Happy new year, everyone!  2015.  A new year, not quite a new slate.  But mark my words, this will be the year I beat cancer.  This will be the year I win.  2015 will be incredible.

I'm officially halfway done with my chemo - I had my sixth treatment on Tuesday, and am feeling pretty good so far.  I had my typical night of nausea after getting home from the oncologist's office, but I've learned that loading up on my anti-nausea meds and just going straight to bed once I get home is the best idea.

Had to have a little fun with my 6th chemo... ;)

I'm still having issues with my port catheter.  I met with Dr. Blau about it on Monday, and she fears it might be infected.  The CT scan and ultrasound both came back clear, but it's still angry and red, and hurts quite a bit.  So she put me on an extra antibiotic, and hopefully that clears everything up.  The last thing I need is to have to have my port replaced!

New horse pill added to the mix.  And this isn't even all my daily meds!

Another thing that was discussed with Dr. Blau on Monday was the size of my right axilla lymph nodes that were on the ultrasound I had when trying to figure out what was going on with my catheter.  Dr. Blau mentioned that those lymph nodes are 3.2cm, still way bigger than they should be.  Keep in mind, the right axilla is where the majority of the cancer was when this all started, and where the 7cm node was taken from for the biopsy.  Dr. Blau didn't seem too concerned though, and said that nodes in that area can always be cut out, and are much easier to remove that nodes in other locations.  So we'll cross that road if we come to it in the end.

Oh, and Dr. Blau really liked my wig.  :)  I had the Jon Renau "Zara" on that I've been wearing so much, and she said it's one of the most realistic looking wigs she's ever seen.  Coming from an oncologist who sees people in wigs all the time, that's quite the compliment!  I've been really having fun wearing the blonde one, so I'm glad that I can pull it off!  :)

I had a really great Christmas.  As much as I miss work and my coworkers, it was really nice to be able to spend the holidays with a few of my family members.  We just had a small Christmas at my parents' house with my brother, who came up from Oregon.  We were supposed to go out to my uncle and aunt's lake house on Sunday, but one of my cousins was sick, so we bowed out.  We ended up having dinner with my uncle and aunt and a different set of cousins last night instead.  It's weird not knowing when your taste bud issues are going to flare up, and what's going to taste different.  But thank goodness I was able to taste the pork chops my uncle and aunt served, because they were HEAVENLY.  Things today are tasting more bland, but this morning I was able to eat frosted Mini Wheats for breakfast and taste them.  It's all kind of a crapshoot, and totally trial and error.  But you bet I'll take all of that over having mouth sores!!

My eyelashes are still holding on, but my eyebrows are getting thinner and thinner.  Early next week, I'm going to film a tutorial on how to fill in your eyebrows when you still have some of them left, plus include some general makeup tips to consider when you're going through treatment.  So keep an eye out for that next week sometime!

I'm still having a major case of cabin fever from staying at my parents' house.  I'm hoping to get back to my place next week and just have some time to myself for a couple days.  A girl can only take watching so many episodes of "Deadliest Catch" before she goes insane.  ;)

I hope all you readers are doing well, and I wish you a fantastic 2015!  :)