My hair started falling out last night.
I knew it was coming, but there's seriously nothing you can do to prepare yourself for what it's going to be like when it starts happening.
Yes, I know it's only hair. Yes, I know it will grow back. But until you've reached up to tuck your hair behind your ear and end up with a chunk of it in your hand, you don't know what it's like. You don't know how traumatic it is. It's horrifying.
My plan was to hold onto my hair for as long as possible and see if it just thins a lot instead of falling out completely, but I don't know how much longer I can take this. I keep finding hair on my shirt, and it was all over my pillow when I woke up. It took me hours today to muster up the courage to take a shower. I'm betting I throw in the towel and shave my head by the end of the week.
I was scheduled to have my second chemo treatment today, but my blood work results on Friday forced Dr. Blau to push it back a day. My white blood cell count is literally zero. The last chemo killed off too many good cells in my bone marrow, and my body can't fight off infection right now. I can't have chemo when my count is that low, so we're going to try tomorrow. Hopefully my count came up over the weekend!
I have to be up around 7am tomorrow, so I'm calling it an early night. Ciao!
I remember when my grandmother started losing her hair due to chemo. It is emotional, but it does not define you. It is part of the journey and you are a strong woman. Keep your (bald) head up!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate with the hair. Did your head tingle and itch also? I finally decided just to cut it really short (didn't shave it) and kept my bangs long in the front to wear with hats. It will feel a lot better when you do, but you definitely have to wait until your ready! I was able to go a few weeks and just dealt with it falling out before I cut it. It's deidmitely traumatizing. It kind of made me nauseous to fix my hair knowing I would have pieces come out. The wig you chose is gorgeous! I couldn't even tell it was a wig until I read that it was! I also had low blood counts after my first treatment, but they started increasing after that. Hang in there, girl. You can do this!
ReplyDelete*definitely traumatizing (stupid autocorrect)
ReplyDelete